My childhood was equal parts extreme privilege and extreme poverty.

Until I was 6 years old, I lived with my paternal grandmother. She had worked as a paralegal, until her husband passed away and she inherited a multi-million dollar savings.

When I was almost 7, my mom regained custody of my older sister and I- so we went to live with her.

I’ll never forget the day my grandma took us to our moms apartment and sat us down to tell us that we would be coming to live there.

My sister and I had known a life of luxury. Everything we wanted at our fingertips. I know, I was only six. But I remember. I remember all of it.

We lived in a cul-de-sac. We went to the mall every single weekend for new toys. We got lavish gifts every holiday.

Then our life turned upside down.

Our mom lived in a 3^rd floor apartment downtown. It had two bedrooms, dirty green carpet and cockroaches. Bats were frequent visitors, as well as mice.

It was far from what I was used to, it was the exact opposite. I was terrified, sad, confused.

I’ll never forget that day.

But I will also never forget the fact that if this had never happened to me, I wouldn’t be half the person I am today.

Years ago, I regarded this as a downgrade. I thought that I had been robbed of the childhood I deserved.

But after many years of self-medicating, therapy and more therapy… I’ve come to understand that I was not robbed of anything. I was gifted something.

I was gifted empathy. Self-preservation. Kindness. Sympathy. Perspective. Street smarts. Gratitude. Compassion.

It was because of this shift in my tiny six year old life that I was able to learn to feel compassion for people less fortunate than I am. Because of this, I know that no matter what life throws at me- it’s temporary.

It is because of this life event that I have learned that giving back is one of the most important things I could possibly do with my life.

The very least we could do is help other humans if we ever find ourselves in the position to do so.

Over the years, my family and I have found various and random ways to give back for the holidays.

We give back other times of the year as well, don’t worry!

But the holidays are a soft spot for us, because it’s a time of year when we’re surrounded by family, warmth, twinkly lights and hot chocolate (spiked for me!).

We are all aware that some people aren’t as lucky. We know that not everyone has a family, or even warmth, during the holidays. But it’s far too easy to put it out of our minds. To forget about it, because it doesn’t really affect us.

I am 100% guilty as charged. I can be selfish, rude, unthinking and even cruel sometimes.

But the last few years, I’ve been trying to be better. I’ve been actively making an effort to think of ways I can give back to my community.

Every year around this time, I start to think of ways I can give back for the holidays.

Here are a few different ideas I’ve had, as well as some I’ve actually done to give back for the holidays:

VOLUNTEER

The first thing that comes to mind when you think of giving back during the holiday season is probably volunteering.

And if you’re anything like me, the first place you think to volunteer is a soup kitchen.

But, there are so many other places that could use your volunteer services during the holiday season.

NICU

Check with your local hospitals to see if they need volunteers for the NICU babies! Who doesn’t want to cuddle a baby? NICU babies need extra cuddling, so if you’re qualified, go love on those babies.

Care Homes

On the opposite end of the spectrum, the elderly need your love, too. It’s not something any of us want to think about, much less talk about, but some of the men and women in assisted living facilities have no family to visit them for the holidays. It’s incredibly sad, but it is the unfortunate reality. Call around to local facilities and see if they’re in need of any volunteers. Just your presence might make one of those residents days.

Planned Parenthood

Don’t come at me if you’re pro-life. In fact, get off my blog. Planned Parenthood is an amazing organization that provides free or low cost reproductive healthcare services to millions of women across the country. They are doing amazing work, and now more than ever, they could use our support. They are always looking for volunteers, so if you have a local PP, call them up and see how you can help.

Women’s Shelter

More than 80% of my audience on this blog are women. I hope and pray that none of you are currently living in a shelter. If you are- please reach out to me, I will help you in any way I can.

For the rest of us, how better can we give back during the holidays than to give back to other women? Check with your local women’s shelters to see if they need volunteers. If you can find domestic abuse shelters in your area, call and see what you can do to help the women and children there.

Parks & Conservancies

Not as emotional on a human to human level, but your local parks and rec might be in need of volunteers for the holidays. You could help clean up parks, shovel show, ice sidewalks. Call around to see what you can help with! You never know.

CROWDSOURCE

The power of social media has never been more apparent. Let’s put that to good use!

Adopt a Family

This is something my family and I have been doing for years. My grandmother would always find a family in need to give back during the holidays. She’d find out everything she could about the family, but always in secret. For example, how many children there were, what they liked, what size clothes and shoes they wore, what the parents were most in need of. Then she’d enlist everyone in our family and her group of friends to gather up as many gifts as possible for this family.

We would sneak up to their house early Christmas morning and leave all the wrapped gifts on their porch. The memories of this will always bring a smile to my face.

Send Cards

There are so many people out there who would be so grateful for a simple card in the mail for the holidays. Check with your local veteran organizations to see if they know of any vets who will be alone for the holidays and ask how you can send a card.

Please don’t forget about military families and those who are currently deployed. You can send cards to men and women who are currently deployed through Operation Gratitude.

But please don’t forget about their families as well. Reach out to your community and see if you can locate military wives/husbands who are going to be alone for the holidays. Let them know you’re thinking of them.

Mom Groups

Last summer, when I was super pregnant with our second and our daughter was 4, I got a frantic phone call from my husband saying that his mom’s (beloved) golden retriever had passed away suddenly. Like, out of nowhere. He was in great health and only 6 years old. Our daughter happened to be there at the time, and she saw everything.

I reached out to a mom group on Facebook for support and advice on how I could help my girl deal with her first pet death. Lots of great advice, but one mom went above and beyond. She sent my daughter a card in the mail with stickers and other little gifts in it. Harper talked about it for MONTHS. She was so over the moon that a stranger would send her something in the mail- she just couldn’t believe it.

Since then, I’ve mailed cards to the children of women in my mom groups when they reach out saying their child is having a hard time.

This is something you could do all year, but especially during the holiday season. Reach out to your mom groups on Facebook and ask if anyone is in need. It’s not always easy for us moms to admit we need help, so specify that they can private message you and you won’t judge them.

Amazon Smile

Amazon donates 0.5% of the price of your eligible AmazonSmile purchases to the charitable organization of your choice. AmazonSmile is the same Amazon you know. Same products, same prices, same service. Support your charitable organization by starting your shopping at smile.amazon.com.

ORGANIZE

Help the Homeless

My grandfather passed away suddenly in February 2017. In April, my stepfather passed away suddenly. My stepdad and my mom had been divorced for a few years, but my entire family had known him since he was a child. He grew up with my mom and her siblings in the small town we are from.

That year was a rough one, to say the least. Around Thanksgiving that year, we decided to start a project called Project Sunshine. Our goal was to give back during the holidays to our local community here in Pittsburgh. We organized a massive collection of donations from our friends, family, local businesses and community members.

We drove a massive uhaul and seven trucks and SUV’s filled with items ranging from clothes, jackets and hand warmers, to tooth brushes, shampoo, feminine hygiene products to toys and school supplies. We spent the entire day driving around the city handing out these supplies to various homeless communities in our city.

We stayed for hours under bridges, on sidewalks, getting to know the people we were fortunate enough to have met that day. We called some contacts at local homeless shelters and informed them that we would be nearby at a certain time, we parked our trucks in an alley and let the homeless come to us.

At the end of the day, we emptied every single truck and u-haul. It was incredibly rewarding for us, but that’s not the point. The point is what those people felt that day. Maybe they felt hope. Maybe they felt loved. We can only hope.

We are still operating Project Sunshine! If you’re local, we’d love for you to join us. Contact me if you’re interested in helping out.

Toy Drive

I am sure you’ve heard of a toy drive. Toys for Tots is a big one that comes to mind. Our local radio station also hosts a massive toy drive called Stuff a Bus during the holidays, where they spend a weekend in the parking lot of a local mall filling busses with toy donations.

If you’re able, pick up a toy next time you’re at the store. Donate it to a local toy drive.

If you’re feeling extra ambitious, organize your own toy drive in your local community.

Food Drive

In my community, food drives are held by local churches. This is often the case, so call around to your local churches and see if they are in need of any donations or volunteers. Even if you can’t afford to donate, maybe you have some time to spare to volunteer.

Again, if you’re feeling extra ambitious- organize one of your own! Collect food items from your local community to give back to those in need during the holidays. Ask your friends and family to clean out their pantries for you.

IN YOUR COMMUNITY

Pack Lunches

I remember what it was like to have to work on Christmas Eve AND Christmas Day every year. Before I had kids, it didn’t bother me so much. But when I became a mom, it was really hard for me to miss out on those moments with my family.

So many people in your community have to work during the holidays. There are 24 hour groceries, gas stations…nurses and doctors saving lives, first responders doing the same.

Pack a few lunches and hand them out to people you see working while you’re out running errands for the holidays. If you’re my type of gal, pack some fun gift bags (think booze and candy) and hand those out.

Give Back to Local First Responders

Your local firefighters are volunteers, they do this incredibly hard and grueling work for free. Just because they care, they want to help, they want to give back to the community in some way. The difference is, they give back to your community 365 days a year.

Your local EMT’s and volunteer firefighters could always use donations, even something as simple as a case or two of bottled water. Check with them to see what they’re in need of!

HOSPITALITY

Drive Thru

Next time you’re in the drive through ordering a coffee for yourself or happy meals for your kids, ask the attendant to pay for the car behind you.

This is a great, small way to give back during the holidays, and it could set off a chain of pay it forwards!

Tip You Waiter (more than usual)

My younger sister works as a waitress, and one of my favorite things to do is visit her restaurant during the holidays while she’s working. We request her as our waitress, and then we leave her a giant tip.

We don’t only do this for my sister, though. During the holidays, I always leave at least a 50% tip. (when it’s not the holidays, I do 30% no matter the quality of service. Waitressing is hard as fuck- I’ve been there)

Not everyone can afford this, but the idea is just to leave a little bit more than you normally would. Leave a gift. Leave a nice note. Just leave the waiter something to let them know that you’re extra appreciative that they are working during the holidays and you aren’t.

Hand out Gift Cards

Next time you’re at the grocery store, pick up a few gift cards. Even $10 is more than enough.

Hand them out to people you come in contact with while you’re out doing holiday errands.

Your cashier at the grocery store, your waitress, your nail technician, a random stranger on the street.

DONATE

Choose your favorite charity or non-profit and make a donation in any amount you can afford.

No donation is too small!

Donations are vital to non-profit organizations and charities, so even if you can only afford to do it this one time for the holidays, it will make an impact.

However you choose to give back for the holidays, it will make a world of difference for someone in need. There are so many ways to give back to your community without spending a dime.

The most important thing is to be kind, generous and never judge anyone for their circumstances.

Let me know in the comments what other ways you like to give back for the holidays!

 

XO, M

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